Dear Santa, it’s you know who. If it’s not too much trouble could you get me all the stuff on my list, including Alexa Chung, and could you put her in a big box with a big red bow around it.
P.S. You might want to cut holes in the box, so she can breathe. Maybe add something for her to snack on while she’s waiting in there. Maybe give her a movie to watch, but NOT The Proposal, because that movie was atrocious.
Love, The Materialistic Boy